


Sell, Sell, Sell

by sabinelagrande



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gilmore's A+ Advertising, Gilmore's Glorious Goods, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, V Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9159091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: Why look good when you can look glorious?





	

**Author's Note:**

> There was a conversation about the degree to which modern Gilmore would saturate the market with Gilmore's Glorious Goods t-shirts, and then this happened.

"Brother, if you don't move faster, we're going to be late for the movie," Vex calls.

"Keyleth isn't ready either," Vax protests. "Why is it my fault?"

"You're more fun to yell at," she says. She drums her fingers against the arm of the couch in Vax's living room; they really are going to be late if Vax doesn't move his ass, but Vax has made her late for many a film in their life. 

"Well, you can't rush perfection," Gilmore says from his position in the kitchen, loud enough for Vax to hear. He's leaning against the wall and sipping from a large mug of strong coffee, already dressed to go into the shop.

"Are you sure you can't go with us?" Vex asks, though she knows the answer.

"I would love to, but Sherri's taking the afternoon off," he says.

"Another time, then," she says.

Gilmore smiles. "Another time."

Vax finally emerges, dressed down for the occasion. He's wearing a black t-shirt, the unicorn logo of Gilmore's Glorious Goods printed oversize and off-center on it, with GGG in flowing script, all in silver. It is a true testament to the designer that it is not the tackiest thing Vex has ever seen, because it could have gone so wrong. It was a specialty item that Gilmore had made specifically with Vax in mind; Vax is not a t-shirt person to start with, and the usual purple model was never a favorite of his.

"What did I say?" Gilmore says, giving Vax a kiss when Vax comes to steal his coffee. "Perfection."

That's one Vax down, but his girlfriend is still nowhere to be seen, even though his boyfriend is. They all have Keyleth to thank for this arrangement, strange as that may sound; she pulled Vax's head out of his ass and introduced them all to a lot of new words that Vex didn't even know she didn't know. Keyleth might be inexperienced, but she's more perceptive than she gets credit for. She already knew herself enough to know that sharing was for her, and Vex admires her for standing up for what she wants.

Then again, Vex wonders how Keyleth really feels about Vax decked out like this. Gilmore is a friend to all of them, and his merchandising generosity knows no bounds, but it would bother Vex, seeing her boyfriend wearing something that was so obviously the symbol of someone else he loved.

Keyleth finally emerges from the bedroom; she is wearing a broomstick skirt and a green Gilmore's tank top, which was another piece of specialty apparel for a certain Keyleth who is prone to cutting up t-shirts.

"Well, I guess one of us has to change," Vax says.

"Why change when you both look fantastic?" Gilmore says, kissing Keyleth's cheek, and Vex tries to remind herself that what matters is whether everyone is happy, not whether she completely understands how they get there.

"Let's go, everyone out," Vex says, because happy or not, the movies wait for no man.

"Have a marvelous time," Gilmore says.

"We will," Vax says, "if we're not late."

Vex sighs, herding Vax and Keyleth towards the door.

\--

Percy wakes up to the smell of breakfast. Truthfully, he wakes up before that, just long enough to make vague unhappy sounds as Vex tries to leave their bed, but he's still half asleep when that happens. When he wakes up for good, there are the telltale signs of a delicious meal being prepared, and he counts himself as a very lucky man.

When he finally drags himself out of bed, Vex is in the kitchen, tending to a pan of sizzling bacon. As is not uncommon, she's stolen Percy's clothing in preference to dirtying her own. This time it's a blue Gilmore's Glorious Goods shirt, a thing she frequently purloins due to its worn-in softness.

The problem here is that while Vex is shorter than Percy, they're about the same size otherwise. Percy's clothes don't have the stereotypical girlfriend-in-boyfriend's-clothes oversized effect on her, so the shirt she's wearing stops where a t-shirt generally stops, leaving a wide swath of skin between its hem and the waistband of her low-cut panties.

Percy looks her up and down and wonders who in their right mind would consider that a problem.

He walks up behind her, putting his arms around her waist. "You didn't have to go through all this trouble," he says.

"You earned it," she says, smirking.

He slides a hand up her stomach, under her shirt. "What do I need to do to earn lunch?"

"First you need to not distract me enough that I burn this entire pan of bacon," she says. "After that, I have a few ideas."

"I am open to suggestions," Percy says. "I am also very open to bacon."

"I thought you might be," Vex says, turning her head to kiss him. "Now be a good boy and start on the toast."

\--

"Give me five more," Pike says, rolling her neck before she lays back on the weight bench.

"Are you sure?" Grog asks.

"Yeah, you're right," she says. "Ten."

"Attagirl," he says, adding weight to either side of the bar. Once he's in position, she wraps her hands around it, planting her feet firmly on the floor on either side of the bench.

"I got here just in time," someone says, and she and Grog both look up to see Scanlan, who has a towel around his neck and a water bottle in one hand.

"Did you come to work out?" Pike asks.

"Just got out of yoga," Scanlan says.

"You're not the yoga type," Grog says.

"But the yoga instructor is my type," Scanlan says. "Plus it's probably good for my soul or something. I'm just sticking around for moral support."

"Then let's do this," Pike says, getting into position again, Grog ready to spot her. She takes control of the bar, bringing it down towards her chest; she struggles for a moment, but then pushes up.

"Yeah, you got it," Grog says encouragingly. "Show 'em who's boss."

Pike proceeds to do just that, working through her set with enthusiasm, Grog and Scanlan cheering her on. Just before she finishes, there's a ripping noise, and Pike frowns. She racks the bar, looking herself over quizzically. That's when she sees it: one of the sleeves on her faded yellow Gilmore's shirt is halfway off, the seam having popped under the strain.

"That's my monstah," Grog says, grinning. "Come on, one more set."

"Yeah," Pike says, grinning back.

"I'll stick with yoga," Scanlan says.

\--

Gilmore stands behind the counter in his shop, taking in the scene; a couple is browsing near the door, while Sherri is helping a man who is clearly getting on her already fraying nerves. Sherri, bless her, is much more suited to backstage work, but until they find more help, this is her lot.

The couple selects some items and comes to the counter. "I hope you have some exciting finds," Gilmore says. "Not that everything we have isn't fascinating."

"We've walked by here a dozen times and never stopped," one of the women says. Gilmore hears this a lot; a shop with a neon unicorn out front gathers a certain clientele, but is not for everyone. The unicorn stays, but Gilmore does get it.

"I didn't think to check this place out until I talked to someone at the farmer's market with a t-shirt from here," the other woman says.

"Well," Gilmore says, with a big smile. "Let me tell you about the _fabulous_ sale we have on them right now."


End file.
